he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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