No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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