So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
