I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
