butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
