ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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