To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have demons in me.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
