when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
