I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Terrible idea I love it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
