just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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