I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
