I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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