I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
