its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
