"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
