are you so shy because you have an std?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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