Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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