Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
