Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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