i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
