I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
