You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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