did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
