I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
