Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
