We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize