A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
