just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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