A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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