i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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