also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
