honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
