At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
