I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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