I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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