About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
