I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
