I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
