Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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