i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize