let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
