Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
