i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
