a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
