Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
