He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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