Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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