Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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