I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
