Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
