Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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