wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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