I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
