This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I lost the right to judge tonight
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
