dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize