Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
