You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
