Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
