Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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