I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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