all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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